He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
