peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize