It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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