Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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