Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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