i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
