I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
