i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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