i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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