I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize