70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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