So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
