1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
