In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
