Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
