Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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