was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
