So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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