she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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