You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
