He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just found puke in my bra..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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