i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
