Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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