Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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