I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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