i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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