you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
