I am in a vortex of obligation.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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