This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
