The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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