Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
only you would photoshop your dick
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
