Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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