Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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