DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My vagina is officially offended.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
