I'm jealous of your bromance
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
