yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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