I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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