I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
