i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize