Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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