Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
