Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
