You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
