Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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