Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
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They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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