Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
