everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize