Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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