Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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