this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
