i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
where am i from again
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
