well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
