she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize