break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
