I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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