it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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