We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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