big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
